Vulture’s guide to New Year’s Eve.
Do you hear that? Off in the distance? It’s the sound of balls preparing to be dropped, plastic glasses shaped like “2023” being unwrapped, and Andy Cohen pulling out his shot glasses. That’s right, baby, we’re about to ring in the New Year! And look, as exciting a night as it can be for some people, some of us are more of the “Sally in that New Year’s Eve party scene at the end of When Harry Met Sally” variety. For those going out, wear a mask, and for those who want to stay in, there is an absolute smorgasbord of specials to flip through looking for who’s the drunkest. Below, find all your options — from Miley to Ryan to Nashville to the gays — and where to watch them.
CNN’s New Year’s Eve Live
Hosts: Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper in New York with guests Jean Smart and Cheri Oteri; Don Lemon in New Orleans
Performers: Usher, Kevin Hart, Ellie Goulding, Patti LaBelle, REO Speedwagon, Nick Cannon, Jenifer Lewis, John Stamos, Tenacious D’s Jack Black and Kyle Gass, and Ava Max
When: 8 p.m. ET
What to expect: The show will check in on celebrations from around the world, featuring recorded interviews with stars like Theo James, Steve Aoki, NCT 127, Geena Davis, Deepak Choprah, and Wayne Rooney. There have been reports that CNN wants to cut back on the drinking during this year’s special, which would be a mistake. New Year’s Eve is nothing without CNN’s tipsy gay chaos like Cohen railing against Bill de Blasio while Anderson Cooper grabs his hood and Don Lemon getting a piercing on national TV. Cohen has denied reports he will be drinking less, so there is still hope!
Miley’s New Year’s Eve Party
Hosts: Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton
Performers: FLETCHER, Latto, Liily, Dolly Parton, Rae Sremmurd and Sia + SNL’s Chloe Fineman, Sarah Sherman, and Please Don’t Destroy
When: 10:30 p.m. ET
What to expect: Miley Cyrus hosted a New Year’s Eve party last year, which was considered a massive success partly because of the 6.3 million viewers and partly because she did a stellar job dealing with a potential wardrobe malfunction. This year, she’s trading Pete Davidson for Dolly Parton as co-host. We like Pete, but let’s be honest: That’s an upgrade. The show will be produced by Lorne Michaels again, and while we know that includes some SNL cast members, we kinda hope that means he’s getting Vanessa Bayer to come do her Miley impression too
Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest
Hosts: Ryan Seacrest with co-hosts Liza Koshy, Jessie James Decker, Ciara, D-Nice, Billy Porter
Performers: Ciara, Aly & AJ, Bailey Zimmerman, Ben Platt, Fitz and the Tantrums, Halle Bailey, Lauren Spencer Smith, Maddie & Tae, Shaggy, TXT, Armani White, Betty Who, Dove Cameron, Finneas, Nicky Youre, Wiz Khalifa
When: 8 p.m. ET
What to expect: Dick Clark may be gone, but Ryan Seacrest is determined to carry on with our culture’s most iconic New Year’s Eve spectacular. This is the archetype, the ye olde, your classic ball drop. This year, DCNYREWRS will be cutting between Times Square, Disneyland, Los Angeles, and New Orleans. Performers are ranging from Finneas (sans Billie) to Aly & AJ (sans swearing — this is ABC) to Ciara (likely with her one-two step).
New Year’s Eve Live: Nashville’s Big Bash
Hosts: Jimmie Allen and Elle King
Performers: Jason Aldean, Dierks Bentley, Luke Bryan, King Calaway, Sheryl Crow, Riley Green, Ashley McBryde, Thomas Rhett, Darius Rucker, Lainey Wilson, War and Treaty, Flo-Rida, Steve Miller Band front man Steve Miller, Kelsea Ballerini, Brooks & Dunn, Little Big Town, and Zac Brown Band
Where: CBS and Paramount+
When: 8 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. ET with a break from 10:00 to 10:30
What to expect: If the number of locations included in the DCNYREWRS gives you whiplash, then CBS has the perfect alternative: settle down in Nashville, baby. But with almost 50 performances in five hours, it’s not like the location specificity will have you bored. If names like Kelsea Ballerini and Zac Brown Band mean anything to you, then this might be where you wanna set up camp.
The Shaq’tacular Spectacular
Hosts: Shaquille O’Neal
Performers: Cardi B, Ludacris, Lil Yachty, Killer Mike, WHIPPED CREAM, and DJ DIESEL (Shaq), and additional special guest appearances by Rob Gronkowski and Camille Kostek
Where: Meta Horizon Worlds and Shaq’s Social Media Pages
When: 3:30 pm PT/ 6:30 pm ET
What to expect: Fully immersing himself in the Meta Verse, Shaq’s Shaq’tacular Spectacular is a virtual reality dance party/New Year’s Eve special with performances and games to be experienced on a VR headset (or just your phone if VR makes you dizzy.)
This is a developing story.